Looking for the Light
by HopelessRomantic1994
Summary: Sequel to 'Secrets of the Dark' hope you like it
1. Chapter 1

**Thank you for the reviews on my last chapter of 'Secrets of the Dark' I'm so grateful!**

**But I Have Promises To Keep- Thank you!**

**DizzyRedhead- Thank you!**

**NiekaWow- Thank you!**

**mozzi-girl (Molly) -Thank you Molly! Hope you enjoy the sequel!**

**CauseOfDeathLover13 (Lexi)- Thank you!**

**SaLTndPepper (Trish)- Thank you! Haha your review made me laugh, thank you so much! Your awesome! :D**

**Okay you said yes to the sequel so I present to you…Looking for the Light! Heh Hope you like the first chapter! :D**

* * *

**Natara's POV**

Alone in the darkness.

_Natara…_

I'm cold. Numb.

_Natara…_

Time…it's running out…

_Well I'm sorry to disappoint you dear, but this is far from over…_

Tick Tock

_You think your past just disappears?_

Tick Tock

_This isn't going to stop Natara and it's only the beginning._

Tick Tock

_This isn't going to stop._

Tick Tock

_It's __**never**__ going to stop._

I feel blood, it's dripping on me.

_Natara…_

Looking down at my hands; it's everywhere.

_Natara can you hear me?_

Tears fall from my eyes, as I hear them. All the voices. They crowd me, drown me with their words. I can't breathe, my chest feels tight. They surround me, hold me down.

* * *

**Natara:**" No!"

I jolt awake in a cold sweat; my entire body trembling. I feel Mal's arms around me as he tries to hold me close, but I shake even more from the terror.

**Mal:**" Natara, calm down."

**Natara:**" No I, I can hear them. They won't- they won't go away. They're screaming at me, and I-they're everywhere. I see so many faces."

I pant breathlessly as Mal holds me close, gently rubbing my back while rocking me back and forth.

**Mal:**" Shhh, everything's okay. It was just a nightmare."

As I start to slowly calm down; I feel my heartbeat echo in my ears. I hold on to Mal as I close my eyes and bury my head into his chest.

**Mal:**" It's okay Nat, your safe now."

I slowly lay back down; still wrapped in Mal's arms. I take a deep breath and lie in the silence until I finally drift back to sleep.

* * *

The following morning before Mal wakes up, I quickly leave. Sat here once again in this small room on this chair, waiting. I need answers.

**Genevieve:**" Natara, How lovely of you to come and visit me again…"

**Natara:**" Enough, Genevieve. I just want answers! What exactly did you mean when you said; this was far from over, that my past doesn't just disappear? And no more mind games, I want the truth."

Genevieve sits back in her chair and glares at me.

**Genevieve:**" Very well, Shawn Mallory is back."

**Natara:**" What? That's impossible!"

**Genevieve:**" And yet it's the truth. Shawn is back and this time he won't stop until he kills you. I tried to talk him out of it last time; I told him how useful you were with that big brain of yours. But he wouldn't listen, just set on getting revenge, justice he claims he deserves."

I take a second to let the words sink in and process in my mind, before looking back up at Genevieve.

**Natara:**" So you're saying all this won't end; none of us are safe. Not until…"

**Genevieve:**" Until Shawn gets what he wants and believe me; he's willing to go to greater measures this time to get it."

* * *

Back home; I sit on the couch with my head in my hands. After what Genevieve told me; leaving prison and the drive home was a blur. Right now there's only one thing on my mind and it's driving me insane, as I sit here with Genevieve's words floating around in my head.

_Shawn Mallory is back and this time he won't stop until he kills you. Until Shawn gets what he wants…_ _he's willing to go to greater measures this time to get it._

At that moment, Mal bursts through the front door. Worry and panic set in his face as he rushes towards me.

**Mal:**" Nat thank god, I've been looking everywhere for you!"

**Natara:**" Mal what is it? What's wrong?"

**Mal:**" You didn't hear? I assumed that's why you took off this morning."

**Natara:**" Mal just tell me!"

Mal takes a breath as he sits beside me.

**Mal:**" It's Shawn Mallory, he's back."

I feel a lump appear in my throat and my heart in my stomach as I slump further down into the couch.

**Natara:**" She was right; this isn't gonna stop is it?"

I see the confusion flood over Mal's face and I know; now's the time to tell him the truth.

**Natara:**" Mal I went to see Genevieve…"

**Mal:**" Wait you did what?!"

**Natara:**" She told me that this isn't going to stop. Shawn he-he wants me dead Mal and he isn't going to stop until he gets what he wants."

Mal gently takes my hand and raises his other as he softly strokes my cheek, wiping away the single tear rolling down my face.

**Mal:**" Listen to me, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you okay? And we're gonna take down this son-of-a-bitch before hurts you."

**Natara:**" No, we're not gonna do anything. At least you're not."

**Mal:**" Natara what are you-"

**Natara:**" Do you remember what happened last time? He tried to kill you, Blaise, Maria, Amy and look what happened to Ken? I'm not gonna let that happen again, I can't"

Mal's eyes light up as realisation hits him and his face drops as he backs away in denial.

**Mal:**" No Natara please, No."

**Natara:**" Mal this isn't going to stop, not until he gets what he wants."

**Mal:**" Natara please just think about this!"

**Natara:**" I already have."

**Mal:**" You can't sacrifice yourself like this."

I slowly rise to my feet and look Mal deep in his eyes, as I take his hand.

**Natara:**" Genevieve told me where Shawn's hiding, this has to end Mal. This has to end with me."

Mal eyes cloud over with hurt and tears; they slowly escape and run down his cheeks. Seeing him like this breaks me apart and I place both my hands gently on his face, fighting back tears of my own.

**Mal:**" Natara please don't do this, I love you."

**Natara:**" I love you too Mal and that why I have to."

I softly press my lips to Mal's in a tender kiss. He returns the kiss as his hands gently caress my lower back and pull me closer. His lips find their way to my neck as he makes a trail of kisses down to my collarbone. My hands slowly slide from Mal's face, down to his chest as I start to unbutton his shirt. His lips meet mine once again with another kiss, I sink into it; closing my eyes making the kiss more passionate. I pull Mal closer towards me, removing the space between us. Mal's shirt hangs from his shoulders and I slide it away, gently letting it drop to the floor. I feel his hands slowly move up my body from my back up to my hair and with each kiss, I'm overwhelmed with love.

* * *

As the sun streams in through the drapes, I slowly sit up. I glance down at Mal as he sleeps peacefully. Still wrapped in a sheet, I stand up and quickly get dressed. I walk back into the living room and stand watching Mal as he sleeps. Tears find their way down my cheeks, knowing that this is the last time I'll ever see him again. I quietly kneel beside him and place a soft kiss on his lips and stroke his hair away from his face.

**Natara:**" I love you so much Mal, please forgive me for doing this."

With one last kiss on his cheek, I slowly stand up. Walk towards the front door and take one last glance at the love of my life; before leaving.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this first chapter! Please review! Jade xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all your reviews super grateful! I was going to do review replies but it's late and I'm really tired! So I'll give you all a big *Air hug* XD**

**Here's chapter two hope you like! :) Enjoy!**

* * *

**Blaise's POV**

As I make my way into the precinct; its deathly quiet and I can feel the tension in the air. After hearing about Natara, everyone is focused and rushing around, trying to help out anyway they can. Shutting them all out, I close the door to Jeremy's office and turn to face him as he paces around on his cell with a look of deep frustration and anger across his face.

**Jeremy:**" For the last time, I cannot release any additional information at this time! Yes! No! Ugh just don't bother calling again because you'll get the same answer! Okay?! Yeah? Well same to you!"

**Blaise:**" Who was that?"

Jeremy throws his cell phone across his desk and sighs deeply.

**Jeremy:**" Ugh just the press; trying to get information on Natara's disappearance. They've been calling every officer in the place trying to get something!"

**Blaise:**" Damn vultures! They've got no compassion, just wanting the next headline for a story!"

**Jeremy:**" Tell me about it! If they call again, I'll tell em where to go!"

I can't help but laugh softly; Jeremy cracks me up sometimes without even realising it. After I quickly collect myself, I look at the papers on Jeremy's desk.

**Blaise:**" So what have we got?"

**Jeremy:**" Well we've put out APB on Shawn, although I don't see how it'll help, seeing as he's pretty much Mr invisible at this point. We've got a missing persons alert on Natara. Also we have reasons to believe that Genevieve may know where he's hiding but right now she's reluctant to give up his location."

I nod and pick up a copy of the file.

**Blaise:**" Okay, you keep doing what you're doing; I'm going to take a copy of everything and see where Mal is with this."

**Jeremy:**" Blaise; Mal's not here."

I stop in my tracks and sharply turn back to face Jeremy; deep confusion written all over my face.

**Blaise:**" What do you mean; he's not here?"

**Jeremy:**" He hasn't been in all day or answering his phone. No one knows where he is!"

**Blaise:**" I think I do, I'll be back."

* * *

Without hesitation, I leave. Running down the precinct steps, towards my car and driving through the dark streets of San Francisco, until I reach Mal and Natara's home. I stand at the door, rapidly knocking and after two short minutes, still no response.

**Blaise:**" Mal! I know you're in there! Open this goddamn door now! Alright you've got 10 seconds and if you still refuse to let me in, I'll kick the door down! You know I'll do it!"

After still not hearing a sound from the inside of that damn house, I was starting to lose my patience.

**Blaise:**" Right that's it! Don't say I didn't warn you! 1,2... 10!"

As I prepared myself to kick the door in; it slowly creeps open. I cautiously made my way inside, to find that the place was pitch black. Moving further into the living room; I could just make out the shape of a dark figure sat on the couch. As I let out a deep sigh and took a seat next to the figure that could easily be known as Mal.

**Blaise:**" Mal, why are you sat here in the dark?"

No answer.

**Blaise:**" Why didn't you come into work today?"

Again, no answer. I gently reach over and take Mal's hand, as I gave it a reassuring squeeze.

**Blaise:**" Listen, I know this hard for you but we're gonna catch this son-of-a-bitch for taking Natara and-"

**Mal:**" He didn't take her."

**Blaise:**" What?"

**Mal:**" She went with her own free-will. She's wants to end it, protect everyone she cares about. I begged her not to go, but when I woke up this morning she was already gone."

**Blaise:**" Mal I promise you that no matter what, we'll get her back."

**Mal:**" I have to find her Blaise but what if we're too late."

**Blaise:**" Hey, you can't think like that. We gonna find her, now come on."

* * *

Walking back into the bullpen with Mal was eerie, everyone stopped to give him those looks of sympathy and pity; looks I knew Mal didn't want. I follow Mal through to Jeremy's office, to find Jeremy, Amy and Kai all stood silently. As Mal enters the room all three give him that look and I could tell it was starting to get to Mal.

**Mal:**" Look, I don't want your pity so those sad faces? Lose them; all I want is to find Natara. You guys with me?"

They all answer simultaneously with a quiet 'Yes' then focus their attention on Mal, as he clears his throat.

**Mal:**" Alright Jeremy; what have we got?"

**Jeremy:**" Well we put an APB out on Shawn, a missing person's alert on Natara and we have reason to believe that Genevieve may know Shawn's whereabouts but as of now she refuses to cooperate. I know it's not much but it's something, if we think of anything else you know what won't hesitant to do it Mal."

**Mal:**" It's okay, I appreciate what you've done already. Thank you. Amy do you think you could maybe check a tracker signal on Natara's cell, it might be a dead end but maybe-"

**Amy:**" Yeah I know, I'll try my best to find something. Kai come on."

Amy and Kai quietly leave, closing the door behind them. As we're left in the awkward silence hanging in the air; it's quickly broken by the ringing of Jeremy's cell phone.

**Jeremy:**" Hello? Oh for god's sake! I told you not to-! Hey! No I never said that! Who do you think you are?!"

Still screaming down the phone; Jeremy leaves as he walks out into the bullpen. Once again letting the quiet settle into the room. I look at Mal and find myself lost for words. He just stands there; lost, broken and alone. I hate seeing him like this and I hate not being able to help him. My attention is suddenly drawn to the noise outside the door, as I hear muffled shouts and shuffling. At that moment Oscar Santos barges through the door, anger in his eyes, only set on Mal as he storms over.

**Oscar:**" You selfish son-of-a-bitch!"

**Mal:**" Excuse me?"

**Oscar:**" I heard Shawn Mallory is out of his coma and then 24 hours later, it's all over the news that Natara is missing! How the hell could you let this happen?!"

**Mal:**" I did everything I could to stop this from happening actually, and what about you? Why didn't you do anything if you care so damn much?!"

**Oscar:**" Well it seems that in situations like these, I'm not Natara first choice when she needs help."

**Mal:**" Well I'm not going to disagree with you on that!"

**Oscar:**" You smug bastard! You do you think you are?! You claim to care about Natara, yet you're stood here doing nothing! In my opinion, Natara is better off without you!"

At the second; Mal snaps as he lunges across the room and pins Oscar to the wall in with a tight choke hold around his neck.

**Mal:**" Enough Oscar! Now you can sit there on your high horse, looking down your nose at me, but don't you dare say that I don't care about Natara! I would do anything for her and I've risked my life to save her more times than I can count! Can you say the same? No because you're all talk; just a jerk in a suit, your nothing but a coward!"

**Oscar:**" Yeah I'm the coward! How long did you wait to tell Natara how you felt? Must have been hard, watching her in relationship with someone else. All that jealously bottling up inside of you!"

I notice Mal as he starts to shake with anger and knows now's the time to break this up as I gently put my hand on Mal's shoulder.

**Blaise:**" Mal ignore him, let it go."

Mal hesitates then let's go and moves away; turning his back to Oscar. Oscar straightens himself up and tries to collect himself. Even though he's trying to hide it; I know for a fact that he's terrified of Mal. Yet he keeps going.

**Oscar:**" You know something Fallon? Your pathetic and I just hope that when Natara comes back; she finally realizes what a huge mistake she made because let's face it; you don't deserve her!"

The next thing I know, Mal turns sharply and knocks Oscar to the floor with a hard right hook, causing Santos to fall to the floor with a bloody nose. Seething with anger, Mal bends down looking Oscar in the eyes with pure hatred.

**Mal:**" If anyone doesn't deserve her, it's you! Now get the hell out of here!"

Oscar stumbles to his feet and after sending him glare of ice, he leaves. Mal takes a seat upon Jeremy's desk and sighs deeply. I quietly make my way across the room to join him and soak up the quiet before deciding to break it.

**Blaise:**" Sooo, you hit him?"

**Mal:**" Yep."

**Blaise:**" Feel good?"

**Mal:**" Yep."

**Blaise:**" How long you been waiting to do that?"

**Mal:**" Too long…Heh you know if Natara were here, she'd probably tell me that violence doesn't solve anything. That I should work issues out with words, not my fists."

**Blaise:**" Please, if Natara were here, she would've beaten you to that punch!"

**Mal:**" You think so?"

**Blaise:**" Hell yeah! Oscar was way over the line with what he was saying, he was asking for it!"

**Mal:**" I don't know how much longer I can do this; I just want her back Blaise."

I look at Mal and even though I know he doesn't want it, there it is; sympathy. I gently place a comforting hand on his forearm and let out a small sigh.

**Blaise:**" I know, I know."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review, I'm not going to be updating this story for a while now because I want to focus on my other fan fic 'Mal Fallon P.I' so this probably won't be updated until the new year maybe! Jade xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, I'm still writing 'Mal Fallon P.I' but when trying to write a chapter for that I kept getting ideas for this so I thought what the heck while the ideas there I'll get it written so I hope you like it Thank you to every single one of you for your reviews! :) Review Replies:**

**SaLTndPepper: Thank you, yep Oscar deserved it! Hehe **

**DizzyRedhead: Thank you :)**

**NiekaWow: Thank you :D**

**My Quiet Riot: Thank you hope you like this next chapter! :)**

**CauseOfDeathLover13: Aww Thank you so much Lexi, yeah thats fine. I've never had my name in someone's story before hehe :)**

**AKgal2001: Thank you, don't worry you don't have to wait till 2013 after all haha hope you enjoy the chapter! :)**

**MALTARA2010: Thank you hope you enjoy this next chapter!**

**mozzi-girl: Thanks Molly, haha yeah it would feel great to punch Oscar! :) hope you enjoy the next chapter.**

**Well here's chapter Three I hope you like it! :D**

* * *

**Natara's POV**

It's cold and dark. Just like my nightmare but this feels so real. I find myself in a dark corridor but how did I get here? Where exactly am I? Each step I take is hesitated and my feet feel heavy as I try to move.

The walls are plain white, and I can't see a door for miles as I look down the winding corridor; it seems goes on forever. I can hear my breathing with each shaky breath I take. As I make my way further down the corridor;I stop when I hear gentle sobbing. I sharply turn around to see a little girl sat on the floor crying. I slowly kneel down to her level, as I check the corridor for any other presence; after seeing nothing, I quickly turn my attention to the little girl.

**Natara:**" Hello, sweetie. Are you okay? Have you lost your parents?"

She doesn't answer; just stays still with her head cupped in the small palms of her little hands.

**Natara:**" It's okay, I won't hurt you. I just want to help, but only if you talk to me."

She slowly lifts her head and looks up at me; as she does she looks extremely familiar. Dark brown hair and brown eyes that are now red and puffy from crying. I've seen this girl before, if I didn't know any better I'd say she looks like…me as a child.

**Girl:**" It's too hard."

**Natara:**" What is?"

**Girl:**" Being brave, but I have to protect them. I have too."

**Natara:**" Protect who?"

**Girl:**" My family and my friends, they need me. It's my job to take care of them. It always my job."

I look at the girl in disbelief; this girl looks and sounds just like me as a child. But that can't be. I slowly reach forward and gently take her hand as I look into her small brown eyes that mirror my own.

**Natara:**" What's your name sweetie?"

She sniffles a few times; as she wipes her eyes dry with her other hand, then takes a deep breath before she answers.

**Girl:**" Natara….Natara Mansingh."

I quickly let go her hand and rise to my feet. This isn't real, it's another nightmare. I quickly look back down to find that the little girl is now gone. In a fit of confusion and panic, I suddenly find it harder to breathe as my chest tightens. I vision blurs and my legs buckle and collapse from under me as I feel myself fall to the floor. Cold sweat drips down my face as my whole body trembles.

* * *

I gasp loudly and as my eyes snap open. I pant heavily as I look down at my arms to find them bound to a chair with rope.

**Man:**" Finally you're awake."

That voice. That horrid, acidic voice.

**Natara:**" Shawn."

**Shawn:**" Well you've been out for quite some time. I must have overdone it neurofinolazine."

**Natara:**" You gave me N-13?"

Shawn laughed, his tone ringing in a sick icy way, sending chills down my spine.

**Shawn:**" Do you not remember? You walked in here; noble and brave. Willing to sacrifice yourself for the sake of keeping everyone you care about safe. Typical Natara Williams always looking out for everyone, it's your _Job _right?"

I don't answer. I just glare at him with nothing but hatred in my eyes.

**Shawn:**" Now Natara don't look at me like that; you brought this on yourself. You chose them over me every time. When you left Quantico and when I needed your help. I just wanted justice. But now I've been branded a monster because of it. You deserve to suffer Natara; the way you made me suffer."

* * *

**Mal's POV**

Another 24 hours. And still nothing new on Natara. I don't know how much longer I can do this; everyone gives me those looks of pity. I don't want them, I just want Natara back. As I sit here in my dark empty office; all I can think about is her. Her smile, that gleam in her eyes when she looks at me, the soft touch of her skin against mine. And I know I'll never feel it again.

I'm suddenly brought out of my thoughts by a knock at the door. Blaise quietly slips inside and sends me a small smile.

**Blaise:**" Hey. You should go home Mal, you've not slept in two days."

**Mal:**" I'm not tired."

**Blaise:**" Mal please, you need your rest."

**Mal:**" I'M FINE!"

Blaise flinches as I snap; I shoot from my desk and glare at her.

**Mal:**" Now if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to be alone!"

Blaise's eyes soften as she takes a step towards me and there it is; more goddamn pity.

**Blaise:**" Mal, we're gonna find her I promise, everything is gonna be okay."

**Mal:**" NO IT'S NOT!"

I feel the anger and the pain build up inside of me as I reach boiling point. I lunge forward throwing everything from my desk, and off the bookshelves. Grabbing pictures off the wall, I smash them to the floor along with a lamp and anything else I can get my hands on. Blaise tries to stop me but I carry on.

**Blaise:**" Mal MAL! Stop!"

She grabs hold of my arms and looks me in the eyes. I collapse to the floor in a flood of tears as my heart aches in my chest.

**Mal:**" She's gone Blaise, she's gone. And it-it hurts."

Blaise pulls me into a hug as I sit on the floor; my eyes stingily sore from all the tears that roll down my face.

**Blaise:**" Listen, I know it's hurts now but I know you're gonna get her back. We're not gonna stop until we find her Mal. I promise."

* * *

**Please review! Jade xx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Happy New Year! I hope 2013 is a great year for all of you lovely people! XD Thank you for all your reviews, I'm super grateful! Thank you to DizzyRedhead,** **mozzi-girl, NiekaWow and But I Have Promises To Keep. **

**Here's Chapter four, I hope you like it! :D**

* * *

**Natara's POV**

As my eyelids flutter open; I feel the soft comfort of the couch underneath me. I slowly rise and look around to find myself in my living room. I run my hand along the couch surface and feel the softness of the cushions. Rising to my feet, I glance across the room to the window. The sun streams in through the drapes; creating a warming glow throughout the room. I walk towards the window, cautiously peering out to see children giggling, as they play around freely on the empty street.

_Natara?_

I turn swiftly to see Mal stood in the doorway. As he looks at me; I'm consumed by the deep overwhelming feeling of love and relief as I rush across the room into his arms. Mal hesitates then slowly wraps his arms around me, holding me close. As I bury my face into his chest, reality dawns on me as I quickly break away.

**Natara:**" Wait, this isn't right."

**Mal:**" Nat, what are you talking about?"

He walks towards me and tries to take my hand but I jerk away, leaving him with a hurt and confused look on his face and as much as it kills me, I tell myself to stay away.

**Natara:**" You're not real, none of this is! It's just another damn nightmare!"

**Mal:**" Natara-"

**Natara:**" No, stay away!"

Silence falls over us and Mal looks at me with those same angelic blue eyes I've grown to love so much, as he takes a step forward and gently places his hand upon my shoulder.

**Mal:**" Natara listen to me, this isn't a dream. It's real; I'm real."

I look into his eyes and see the love and affection. But I know this is all in my head and eventually this dream will end; just like all the others. And I'll wake up cold and alone in that horrid dark room once again; and the feel of Mal's touch, his warmth. It will be nothing but a memory as I lie there alone.

**Natara:**" No You might sound real, look real. God you even feel real. But it isn't."

**Mal:**" Natara please."

Mal desperately wraps his arms around me again; my whole body and heart scream at me to hold him tight and never let go. But instead I do the one thing that kills me, tears my heart into pieces; I push him away.

**Natara:**" I can't, you have no idea how much- what I would give for this to be real. How much I want to escape from this torturing nightmare and wake up in your arms. But this. You. It's not real."

Mal looks at me with hurt in his eyes. And I glance down at the floor, my heart breaking as tears roll down my face. I look back up to find that he's gone, just like before. My breathing suddenly becomes heavy and I feel like I'm drowning as my legs give way, letting me fall.

* * *

My eyes snap open as I jerk awake. My whole body trembles as I sit alone; my knees pulled up to my chest for warmth. I glance around to once again find myself in this dark,cold, damp room. I'm starting to lose track of how long I've been here, since my mouth is dry and dehydrated from the lack of water I've had access too. I run my hand along my lower chest and wince in pain. All the memories come rushing back, Shawn's hate in his eyes, my pained screams. I try to swallow my pain as I slowly lie myself back down on this cold, hard floor. The eerie silence hovers in the air as I listen to the steady rhythm of my breathing. I shake uncontrollably from the cold and carefully pull my jacket tighter around me; although knowing it will do no good.

My mind wanders and all I can think about is Mal. His hair, his blue eyes, his smile; oh his goddamn goofy smile, it brightens up even the dullest day. He never stops until he makes me smile too. It's always hard not to, but he never gives up. I didn't think it was possible to miss someone like this, miss their voice, their touch. Every inch of me aches for Mal; just to be in his arms again. To feel safe again. To feel his soft lips brush again mine in a tender loving kiss, just one more time. As the comforting thought of Mal lingers in my mind, I give in to my exhaustion and pain as I drift asleep; bracing myself for another nightmare, I know is lurking deep within my subconscious.

* * *

**Mal's POV**

Lying here, alone in this bed. It doesn't feel right. I keep rolling over and stretching my arms out to hold her but I'm left with nothing, only cold empty air. After hours of tossing and turning; I give in to my insomnia and kick back the duvet as I sit up in bed. I take in the quiet of the room; instantly aware of the absence that was once filled with the gentle sound of Natara's soft breathing, as she slept beside me.

I pace around the bedroom, trying to silence my racing thoughts. As I walk past the bookshelf; a picture catches my eye. I gently reach out, picking it up. I remember that day so clearly. Natara and I walking down the sea front of San Diego beach, during our summer vacation.

* * *

'_Come on Mal, please?"_

'_No!"_

'_Just one picture, just one.'_

'_Nat I told you, I hate having my picture taken."_

'_But we're on vacation! You wanna remember this don't you?'_

'_This is best vacation of my life and that's because I'm here with you, I don't need a picture to remember that; I just have to look at you.'_

' Well aren't you sweet?'

_'It's true , I love you so much'_

'_I love you too, __But you're still not getting out of having this picture taken mister grumps!'_

_'Ugh fine'_

* * *

I laugh softly as I look at that picture; Nat and I stood on the beach smiling as I pull her close with my arms wrapped around her waist. God I want to hold her again, I'd give anything. If I knew that night was the last time I'd ever hold her, kiss her. I never would've stopped, never would've let her go. I sit on the edge of the bed, picture still in my hand. And I stay still; endlessly looking at Natara's imagine. I have to get her back and I will, no matter what.

* * *

**I hope you liked it! Please review! Jade xx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello, I know it's been a while since my last update sorry about that! Thank you for all your reviews! It really does mean the world to me so thank you again!**

**But I Have Promises To Keep, SaLTndPepper,** **mozzi-girl,** **AKgal2001 and NiekaWow. Thank you so much for your reviews! XD**

**Here's chapter five, I hope you enjoy it! :)**

* * *

**Natara's POV**

Drip…Drip…Drip All I can hear is the dripping from the water pipe above me, although I doubt the waters drink able. God knows how long I've been here, but I know I can't take any more of this. I thought I could handle it; but Mal was right. What have I done? I guess it's too late now. It's the same every night; I just lie here thinking about him, about everything. I'd give anything to see him again; I know he's out there looking for me. I just hope I last long enough to be found.

I stumble to my feet and look around this small room. Panting breathlessly, I slowly make my way through to the small dirty bathroom behind me. Supporting myself on the edge of the sink, I carefully turn on the tiny light hanging from the ceiling. Dreading what might be looking back at me; I slowly look up to the mirror. My face is black and blue with cuts and bruises. The deep cut above my left eyebrow is now infected and swollen from being untreated. As I gently trace my hand along my face,and it's stings. Bracing myself I lift my shirt and again see that I'm covered in cuts and bruises. My eyes instinctively wonder to my decreased waste line and stomach, and doing so causes my stomach to growl, begging for food. I let out a deep breath and pull my shirt back down. I quickly switch the light off; not being able to look at the weak, broken woman looking back at me. I slowly make my way back into the other room and lower myself to the floor. I sit panting out of breath, doing such simple tasks such as getting up or walking; it drains me from the lack of energy I have.

Lying back down, I close my eyes tightly as I imagine I'm home again with Mal. Lied in silence with his arms wrapped around me. Knowing that I'll be there again…soon. I have to keep hoping because right now; it's all I have.

* * *

**Mal's POV**

Six days Natara's been missing. And we still have no leads. I sit in my quiet empty office, looking at this small blue velvet box sat on my desk. I'm so wrapped up in my own thoughts; I don't even notice the soft knocking on my door until Amy steps in.

**Amy:**" Mal? Are in here? Oh."

She instantly goes quiet as she takes a seat opposite me.

**Amy:**" So, when were you planning to errm…"

**Mal:**" Tomorrow night, it would have been our sixth month anniversary. I know some people might think it's rushed but I just- ermm anyway what did you want to talk to me about?"

**Amy:**" Well I tracked Natara's signal on her cell phone like you asked me too but I still got nothing. I'm sorry, I'm trying I really am but I don't know what else to do."

**Mal:**" It's okay Amy, you're doing the best you can and I appreciate it."

An awkward silence fills the room, until Jeremy walks in with an unreadable look on his face.

**Jeremy:**" Mal, Natara's parents are here, they want to talk to you."

Letting out a deep breath, I rise to my feet. Amy stands and flashes a small smile as she leaves. A few minutes later, Jeremy reappears followed by Natara's parents as they walk into my office and take a seat. Jeremy leaves without another word as he closes the door behind him. As I stand there; Natara's parents are surprisingly quiet. Anita sits staring at the floor, while Raj keeps checking his watch. I decide to break the uncomfortable silence, as I take a seat at my desk and look straight at the two of them and clearing my throat to gain their attention.

**Mal:**" I realize that the two of you probably hate me and to be honest; I wouldn't blame you if you did. I promised to protect your daughter and failed to do so but believe me when I say, I will bring her home even if it's the last thing I do, I will bring her home safely."

Anita and Raj glance at one another before turning back to face me; Anita reaches over and takes Raj's hand as she sighs.

**Anita:** "We know you will Mal and have no doubt about that. It's just we know how much Natara's disappearance is affecting you, probably even more so given the circumstances; the reason we came was just to see if you were okay."

**Mal:**" Oh, I suppose I could say I'm okay. But I'd be lying, this is killing me. Everywhere I turn all I see are sad sympathetic smiles and I'm sick of it."

**Anita:**" We understand, you appreciate the thought but it still doesn't help."

**Mal:**" Exactly…"

The room suddenly falls silent again and I notice Raj eyeing the small blue box sat on my desk.

**Raj:**" You were planning to propose Mal?"

**Mal:**" Yes, I know some might say it's a little too soon but-"

**Raj:**" Nonsense if it's the right time for you, then no one can tell you different. You're a good man and Natara loves you. Anita and I would be thrilled if the two of you were to get married."

**Mal:**" Thank you that means a lot."

**Anita:**" We really should be going, we left Neha and I don't want to leave her any longer than I have to."

With that, we all rise to our feet and I walk them out to the parking lot. Anita gives me a small comforting hug as she leaves. Raj waits a few minutes before turning to me.

**Raj:**" Listen Mal I have no doubt that you'll bring Natara home, I only ask one thing. You make that monster suffer for hurting my daughter and this family!"

**Mal:**" You don't even have to ask."

He nods and pats my shoulder before joining Anita. I walk back through the bullpen, only to be stopped by Jeremy as he runs at me and grabs my arm.

**Jeremy:**" Mal follow me! It's Blaise; she said we may finally have a lead. I think we might have found Natara!"

* * *

**I hope you liked this chapter, please review! Chapter six will be up very soon! Jade xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi guys thank you for all your reviews! You lovely people! XD**

**CauseOfDeathLover13, NiekaWow, mozzi-girl, SaLTndPepper,** **But I Have Promises To Keep and DizzyRedhead! Thank you for your reviews you guys keep me writing with your nice reviews! So thank you again! :)**

**Here's Chapter Six, I hope you like it!**

* * *

**Mal's POV**

Walking through the bullpen; or more so being dragged through the bullpen by Jeremy. We find Blaise in her office as she looks up at me from her desk.

**Mal:**" Blaise, Jeremy says you may have a lead. Please tell me he's not wrong."

**Blaise:**" I've got better than that Mal, I know where Natara is!"

**Mal:**" What?! How?"

**Blaise:**" Well, I paid Genevieve a visit and after three and a half hours, she finally gave up Shawn's location."

**Mal:**" Well how did you do that? You know what, actually I don't care! Just tell me where she is!"

Blaise spreads a map across her desk and points to a small red cross written in pen.

**Blaise:**" She's being kept in one of these abandoned warehouses along the docks…."

**Mal:**" Then let's go…"

**Blaise:**" Mal wait! It's not that simple."

**Mal:**" What do you mean?"

**Blaise:**" Genevieve also told me that Shawn had rigged the others warehouses with trip wire. Thing is, where the bombs placed it's- it's where he's keeping Natara. Which means if you pick the wrong place…"

The room falls quiet. My heart aches and my stomach twists from the thought of Natara, I'm so close and yet one wrong move and I'll lose her for good.

**Blaise:**" Look Mal I know this isn't easy but at least we know where she is and that she's alive."

**Mal:**" For Now! Natara's chances of coming out of this are strictly to do with luck! I'm can't lose her Blaise not now, not when we're so close!"

**Amy:**" Mal?"

I swiftly turn to see Amy stood in the doorway.

**Amy:**" Blaise told me everything, I may be able to get better angle on Natara's location once you're down there but it'll still be a rough estimate."

**Blaise:**" It's better than nothing Mal."

I don't even have to think it through; if it means I get the love of my life back, I'll do anything.

**Mal:** "Okay, no one breathes a word of this to Anders understand? If we send squad cars down there, it'll just make things worse, too much attention to this and Shawn will just set off the bomb anyway. Blaise. Jeremy. The two of you come with me and take down Shawn but this time we make sure it sticks. I'm not making any more mistakes, there's no way in hell I am losing Natara again!"

* * *

I stand here, in front of all these doors to the Warehouses that stretch across the docks. Taking a deep breath, I raise my cell phone to my ear as Blaise and Jeremy stand beside me, waiting.

**Mal:**" Okay Amy…"

**Amy:**" Right, I managed to narrow it down to the last three doors but that's the best I can do Mal."

**Mal:**" Thanks Amy."

**Amy:**" Be careful."

I cut off the call and put my cell back in my pocket, then turn to face Blaise and Jeremy.

**Blaise:**" Well?"

**Mal:**" These three…"

**Jeremy:**" But which one is the right one?"

I run my hand through my hair in frustration and gut twisting dread.

**Mal:**" I don't know."

We stand there in the chilling silence and stare at the three doors. I'm so close to Natara it hurts. As I think about holding her again, kissing her, seeing her beautiful brown eyes and her heartwarming smile. I close my eyes and somehow I just know, as I point to the middle door.

**Mal:**" That one."

**Blaise:**" Are you sure? Because if you're wrong…"

**Mal:**" I just know, okay."

Blaise looks at me and nods slowly.

**Blaise:**" Okay."

We all brace ourselves as I pull my gun from my holster and hold it by my side. I gently reach out towards the door and hesitate as my hand trembles. I take a deep breath and quickly open the door. Cautiously, we step inside and look around, hearing nothing. I let out deep sigh of relief as I turn to Blaise and Jeremy.

**Mal:**" Right, Blaise you check the left side of the building, Jeremy you go to the right. I'll head down to the basement. Be careful."

They both give me a nod as they take off in opposite directions. Without hesitation I head for the stairs indicating the way to the basement.

* * *

As I walk along the dark, cold corridor I feel an uncontrollable shiver down my spine. With my gun raised I dart around every corner until I come to a blank door. I twist the handle to find it's locked and pull myself back as I kick the door in. My heart drops into my stomach as I look inside to see Natara laid on the floor, looking fragile and weak covered in cuts, bruises and dry blood. I run to her side as I kneel down beside her, gently wrapping my arms around her and holding her close.

**Mal:**" What the hell has he done to you? Natara can you hear me?"

She slowly opens her eyes and looks up at me. As she tries to speak it comes out in a hoarse whisper.

**Natara:**" Mal? It is really you?"

**Mal:**" Yes of course it's me."

She smiles weakly before her eyes drift close again.

**Mal:**" Natara please open your eyes, please look at me."

She forces her eyes open again and looks up at me as raise a trembling hand to touch my face.

**Natara:**" Are you really here? Is this real? Please don't let this be another dream."

I lean down and meet her lips in a tender kiss, then slowly pull away while gently stroking her cheek.

**Mal:**" I've wanted to do that for so long. I've missed you so much."

**Natara:**" Mal I-"

Natara's cut off as a gun shot echoes in the room, I suddenly notice the blood seeping into Natara shirt from her stomach. Grasping tightly, I hold her close.

**Mal:**" No no please no!"

**Shawn:**" Oh what a shame."

Looking behind me, I see Shawn stood in the doorway with a smoking gun in his hand.

**Shawn:**" It's finally over, I've gotten what I came for. Now it's your turn to join her!"

He raises the gun and points it at my head, but I don't move. Refusing to let go of Natara, I stare Shawn down as the gun once again sounds but to my surprise; Shawn's the one that falls to the ground. Stood behind him stands Blaise, she takes a deep breath as she lowers her gun.

**Blaise:**" Now it's over you, crazy son-of-a-bitch."

She runs over to me and Natara and clasps her hand over her mouth when she notices the blood, that clearly isn't mine. Jeremy runs through the door and stands breathless panting.

**Jeremy:**" I called for backup and an ambulance, they should be here in a few minutes."

As the tears start to roll down my face, I gently trace the tips of my fingers along Natara's chin.

**Mal:**" She won't last that long."

Natara's breaths are forced as she trembles. She reaches up and takes my hand, squeezing as tightly as she can but I can see she's rapidly getting weaker.

**Natara:**" Mal."

**Mal:**" Natara I'm sorry."

**Natara:**" At least I got to see you one last time."

She coughs heavily as drops of blood drip from the side of her mouth. My heart rips to pieces as I hold her in my arms, and more tears fall from my eyes as I desperately wrap my arms tighter around her.

**Mal:**" Natara please try to fight. I can't lose you now."

**Natara:**" I'm trying but... it's hard."

**Mal:**" Please Nat…"

**Natara:**" I love you so much, don't ever forget that."

Her eyes slowly close and her hand slides from mine. I pull her close as I rock her gently back and forth. Blaise and Jeremy stand silently in the doorway, Blaise slowly steps forward placing a hand on my shoulder.

**Blaise:**" Mal…"

I don't answer; I just sit with Natara in my arms as I continue to rock her back and forth as the silent tears roll down my cheeks.

* * *

**Please don't hate me! And please review! Jade xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello Thank you for your reviews I'm very grateful! Review Replies:**

**NiekaWow: Sorry for causing tears forgive me? I hope you enjoy this chapter! :)**

**AKgal2001 (Malia): Please don't hate me! :D Thank you for your review and I'm hoping you'll like this chapter! :D**

**mozzi-girl (Molly): Sorry Molly forgive me? :D And thank you, you are awesome also! :D**

**SaLTndPepper: Thank you updating now! Haha hope you like the chapter! :D**

**This is the last chapter so I hope you enjoy it! :D Thank you for all your support I'm am extremely grateful! :D**

* * *

**Mal's POV**

It all happened so fast. The paramedics rushing into that tiny dark room and taking Natara away. The ambulance ride that seemed to take forever, before finally arriving at the hospital. The endless hours of waiting as the ticking of the clock slowly drove me insane. The endless questions of how she was doing and the answer always being the same. All those sad smiles and sympathy in everyone's eyes.

And that moment of dread when the doctor came to tell me the news. But the thing is when you lose someone, it only makes you want them more. The doctor told me that Natara had just barely made it through surgery, and she was still very weak. For any chances of her surviving, they had no choice. Being told that love of my life was in a medically induced coma, it shattered everything inside of me. But this was the only way to control her vitals and help restore the strength she'd lost, from the lack of food and water.

* * *

_**Three days later…**_

Sitting here now at her bedside; I keep talking to her in the hopes that she can hear me.

**Mal:**" Your Parents stop by yesterday; and Oscar left some lilies for you. In fact, pretty much everyone that's stopped by in the last few days has left some kind of gift, card or flowers. When my mother was in the hospital, I didn't send anything like that. I didn't see the point; I didn't see how it made things better. Just going to see her every day was the best thing I felt I could do for her, being there to hold her hand and let her know I was there for her, made her happier than any card could. I'm gonna do the same thing for you Nat. No matter what, I am not leaving your side. Ever."

The silence kills me; I crave to hear her voice again. I sit back in my chair and listen to the steady beat of her heart monitor as it echoes in this small white room.

**Mal:**" God Nat, how can I find and lose you all at the same time?"

I reach over and gently take her hand, hoping she can feel the touch of my skin against hers. I turn instinctively towards the door when I hear it click open, and instantly feel nervous when I see Natara's doctor step into the room. Dr Grace Fletcher.

**Grace:**" Mr Fallon, I'd like to speak to you for a moment if that's okay?"

**Mal:**" Sure."

I stand and follow her out into the hall. She glances down at her files before looking back up at me.

**Grace:**" We've been monitoring Miss Williams process the past couple of days and she's doing incredibly well, much better than we originally anticipated. Her vitals are good, she's no longer dehydrated, she recovered well from the surgery and we think it may be time to bring her off the medication."

**Mal:**" So does that mean…?"

**Grace:**" Indeed it does, we're going to attempt to bring her out of the coma. Now it may take some time so you'll have to wait in the waiting room-"

**Mal:**" That's fine! I'll do anything if it means Natara's gonna be okay."

Dr Fletcher almost jumps as I shout (maybe a too loudly) with my answer. I just couldn't help it; I wanted Natara back more than anything and now I finally had that chance. After two hours of sitting in this damn waiting room, and that stupid clock once again driving me insane to point of wanting to break it to pieces. Dr Fletcher finally came to tell me the news as I jumped to my feet.

**Grace:**" Everything went fine, it took little over an hour to wake her up and she's doing incredibly well and resting at the moment. Your free to see her in you want."

I don't say anything; I couldn't. I just flash her, the biggest smile until it hurts then run towards Natara's room. I slowly open the door and peer inside to see Natara laid up in bed, looking out the window. She notices me stood in the doorway and smiles. I walk towards her bedside and then pull her into a hug. I cherish every second as I feel her arms around me.

**Mal:**" I'm so glad you're okay, I don't know what I'd do without you."

I feel her squeeze tighter as she holds on to me; I slowly pull away and smile as I gently stroke her cheek.

**Mal:**" How are you feeling?"

For some reason, she doesn't answer me. Just looks at me with blank eyes.

**Mal:**" Natara what's wrong? Talk to me."

She glances down as she breaks eye contact with me. She parts her lips slightly but instead of speaking, she just sighs deeply. I turn and notice Dr Fletcher stood by the door, before quickly turning back to Natara.

**Mal:**" I have to speak with your Doctor for a minute, is that okay?"

Again Natara doesn't speak; instead she just nods her head. I rise to my feet and carefully close the door behind me before stepping out into the hallway with Dr Fletcher.

**Mal:**" What's wrong with her, why can't she speak?"

**Grace:**" It's not that she can't speak Mr Fallon; more so that she's choosing not to. I've checked her throat and her vocal cords and everything's fine. So there's no medical reason for it. She's still reacting with facial expressions and nodding or shaking her head, so it's clear that she can understand what's being said; but she's choosing not to use her voice."

**Mal:**" So what happens now?"

**Grace:**" In my honest opinion I would say; take her home and let her rest. People, who have been through something as traumatic as what Natara has, deal with it in their own way. Everyone is different; and this must be Natara's way. Just give her time and she'll talk to you when she's ready, but if this helps her to process what's happened and move on from it, I wouldn't rush her through it."

* * *

Those words linger in my mind as I sit here for the sixth day in a row since we got home, and Natara still haven't said a word yet. I glance over at her sat on the couch with her knees pulled up to her chest. Clearing my throat, I gain her attention as she looks up at me.

**Mal:**" Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

Natara still doesn't speak, much to my disappointment as she shakes her head. I quickly rise to my feet and kneel in front of her.

**Mal:**" Natara, I know the Doctor told me not to rush you but it's been six days. Please talk to me."

Natara looks deep into my eyes; the fire that was once there is extinguished and replaced with fear and uncertainty. I give up as I sigh deeply and sit beside Natara on the couch. I notice Natara glance at me from the corner of my eye. She wraps her arms around my waist and rests her head on my chest; I lift my arm and drape it around her pulling her closer.

**Natara:**" Don't let go."

The feeling just from hearing her voice is indescribable, but the smile on my face says it all as I pull her even closer.

**Mal:**" Never."

* * *

We sit in silence wrapped in each other's arms for, who knows how many hours. But I enjoy every second just to have Natara back in my arms and this time; I am never letting go. She reaches across and takes my hand; linking our fingers together and takes a deep breath.

**Natara:**" I was scared Mal, every time I went to sleep I kept thinking that I'd wake up back in that cold dark room again. I couldn't bring myself to talk about what happened I didn't want to answer people's questions about it all. I thought if I didn't talk about it, I wouldn't have to keep reliving it. So I just didn't speak at all, hoping it would go away."

**Mal:**" Listen to me, Shawn is dead and Genevieve is in prison. No one else is going to hurt you. I promise I will not let anything happen to you. And this time I'm going to do everything in my power to keep that promise. I love you so much and I'm never losing you again."

**Natara:**" I love you too."

Natara leans in and presses her lips against mine in a soft kiss; I didn't realize how much I missed her kisses until now. She runs her hands through my hair as I place my mine on her lower back, pulling her closer. We both sink into the kiss as it becomes deep and passionate. After a few blissful minutes, we both pull away. Natara's eyes light up as she smiles at me. This is it now, it finally truly is; over.

Natara and I have each other and no matter what happens that's never going to change, because without Natara, I'm nothing. She's the light in my life and as cheesy or as cliché as it sounds; if someone were to take her away from me, I'd be left in the dark.

* * *

**I hope you liked the chapter. And thank you once again for your support on this story! :D Please review! Jade xx**


End file.
